Writing on my Brian and Susanne story again made me think about what if the typical “Furry” was thrust into the same situation as Brian. I’ve heard “Furries” tell me they’d love for that to happen. My guess is they be scared shitless. They may say that they wish it would happen, but let’s face it fantasy and reality are two different things. For one thing, the reality of it would be thrown in their face like a towel off of the fat guy in the sauna. It wouldn’t be pretty, that’s for sure.
For one thing, if they weren’t completely scared, they’d assume too much. Assuming they were in my setting, or other serious settings such as Shanda the Panda, Katmandu or “Omaha” The Cat Dancer—though I wish I had their notoriety and talent—the minute they said something…“Furry” they’d probably be laughed at. Or worse. I imagine they’d be so overjoyed, assuming they weren’t trembling in a puddle of their own bodily fluids, they’d probably come off as an annoying freak.
I raise this question partly because of trying to write Brian. He’s not a “Furry”. Assuming he met one—remember my system: “Furries” are the fans and Furries are the characters—he’d probably be thinking they were freaks. But I think faced with a Furry he’d probably take it in stride until he realized the gravity of the situation. He’s not freaked out pissing himself as I had thought he would be when he first meets one. He looks at the weasel priest (which was not a random choice of species for the occupation, it’s a theological statement from me) and the first thing he says is, “What the hell are you?”
But I think many “Furries” would have a harder time at adapting. The main reason is that their fantasy is based around drawings, paintings, etc. that look pretty. I found one picture of Cassie the Rock Vixen which looks too fox-like and I decided that as disturbing as she looked, that is what she would really look like. And the same is true with Susanne. Her reality is looking like an animal, a taller braincase and human-looking brown eyes, but ultimately an animal. Her body is covered in fur, of course, but think about what it would be like. Soft yes, but itchy. And probably smelly, too.
Imagine being in a bed with Susanne— ahh…I do every night—but seriously. My cat, Sadie, sleeps in the bed with me at night and her fur is annoying. It wakes me up when her tail tickles my nose. Or when she gets too lubby-dubby and gets right in my face and her whiskers rub my cheek. Let’s not get into her insistence on sleeping on my pillow and fur getting in my mouth. Now, couple that with the awkwardness of sleeping with another human anyway.
Hell, imagine sex… Put down the Kleenex and think about it seriously. I’m not a good judge here for one thing. Sadly I’ve done it a very few times in my life and at this rate it’s seeming to me like it’s much ado about nothing. (It could be I wanted until I was 26 to start, but I digress.) I can say this though, it would be awkward. Think about where the tail will go. Think about how you’ll deal with 42 sharp teeth (in Susanne’s case) being in close proximity to your nether regions. Ditto with claws. Think about horrors of them getting a little nippy when excited. Let’s face it, things would be scary. Brian is going to stop repeatedly during sex to tell her to stop doing things that are too weird to him.
But anyway…
The probable reality of Furries would be very different from the fantasy in most “Furry’s” heads. H.P. Lovecraft said, “The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear, and the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.” Their supposed known about Furries, turns into an unknown and it would scare them.
I’m not sure how I’d respond to it. Two reasons for me: 1) I’m not that big into Furry stuff like I used to be so my assumptions aren’t nearly as skewed (read this and you’ll see some of why I say that) and 2) I’m manic depressive and my medication would wear off eventually. When it wears off I’ll probably begin to take it hard. I’ll probably sink into a deep depression due to loneliness and my manic highs would probably be laced with arrogance about the modern 21st Century Human world.
If I survived to meet Susanne I’m not sure as her creator how she’d react to me. I haven’t been without medication in like 15-years so I don’t know. When my medication starts to go sour I get aggravating. I couldn’t tell you anything beyond that. I talk more and I turn more arrogant than the entire United States. (The French aren’t nearly as arrogant as Americans and I’m an American so I can say it.) I’d like to think she’d like me, but I honestly doubt it. Assuming it was me in the story rather than Brian she’d probably end up killing herself. (Read my writing blog, I detail her story there. It’s in the link to my website.)
So that’s what I think. Faced with a real Furry world most “Furries” would probably have a nervous breakdown, if they survived that long. They’d be annoying and probably a little more than aggravating. Chances are they’d ask a Vixen (or Dog Fox) to “yiff” and end up getting hurt — especially if they found out what “yiff” means. Me? Like I said, I’d go nuts because of my medication and probably have a nervous breakdown even if I took it well to begin with.
If you don’t like this analysis tell me, but I stand by it. I’m a good judge of those kinds of things. In fact if you don’t agree send me as compelling of an argument in response.